In the mid-90s, Masaya Matsuura was known in Japan as a member of Psy-S, a pop/dance band, who’d begun to explore his interest in interactive, computer-based music. Rodney Greenblat was a New York-based graphic artist known for his whimsical character designs that were usually anything but human. When the two came together to collaborate, the result was Parappa the Rapper, a PS1 game that was a critical and commercial success, and is now seen as the origins of the music/rhythm genre of gaming. They worked together again on Parappa spin-off UmJammer Lammy and Parappa 2, and while both were reasonably well-received, neither inspired the dedicated following that follows the original Parappa to this day. When the pair announced they’d be teaming up again to create a new music game for the Wii, excitement and speculation arose as to whether they could re-capture that old magic. Now the game is here, and while Major Minor’s Majestic March isn’t without its charms, it doesn’t have what it takes to please Parappa die-hards or rhythm game fans in general.

The titular Major Minor is a cat who lives in a world where drum majors (the guys who lead marching bands, natch) are pretty much the coolest guys in town. Our young hero longs to achieve such awesomeness himself, but it seems like a lost cause – until he discovers that the spirit of his dead grandmother (a legendary band leader in her day) has taken up residence in her old conducting baton, and she’s dead-set on helping MM live up to her memory. Throw in the magical ability to grant an instrument to any random passerby, and grandma (or GGGG as she’s known – short for Great-Great-Grandma Gladiola) gives MM everything he needs to set out on a quest to become the greatest drum major around.

 
The story never addresses the somewhat disturbing implications of carrying around a hand-held version of your own grandma.

The general plot definitely has a goofy off-kilter aspect that will be familiar to any Parappa fan, but the actual storyline is disappointingly straightforward and boring. Most levels are pretty much the same thing – Major Minor’s band played a certain event/parade, and everybody had fun! There’s a little zaniness going on with the game’s villain, Eggplant Fox (who is, indeed, an eggplant-headed fox), but even he doesn’t come close to the personality of Parappa’s Joe Chin. It also doesn’t help the storyline’s appeal that it’s presented in a story-book style, with still images narrated by what sounds like a 10-year old girl. The only character who has a voice is GGGG, but that’s not a good thing – before every level she screeches at you, “March, March, keep on marching!” which, as motivational catchphrases go, has got nothing on “I gotta believe!”

 
There are quick celebratory poses when you successfully complete a stage, but mostly the storyline is relegated to between-level cut scenes.

Ok, enough about the storyline. This is a music game, and music games live or die on the strength of their gameplay mechanics – and of course, the music itself. The gameplay is pretty easy to grasp: by raising and lowering the Wii Remote to the beat you set the band’s tempo. As you march your band through the game world, you can draw bystanders into your band by waving the remote in their direction – all while keeping the beat, of course. Every new band member means a deeper, fuller sound, not to mention a higher score. Each band member also has their own opinion of how fast or slow you should be conducting – march anyone at a pace they can’t handle for too long, and they’ll drop out. Items can be collected the same way as band members, and have a variety of effects, both positive and negative.

 
The bottom of the screen lets you keep track of your band’s reaction to the tempo. Arrows mean they think
you should speed up or slow down, and red means they’re about to drop out.

And that’s all there is to the gameplay. You’ll wave the remote, up and down, up and down, and occasionally flick it left or right. It’s incredibly simple, and unlike Parappa there’s no hidden depth once you’ve mastered the basics – the basics are all there is. I take that back, there’s also a drill-formation mini-game that crops up from time to time, but it just has you waving the remote as fast as possible in certain ways (circles, up and down, etc.) to score bonus points. The gameplay suffers due to the imprecision of the Wii Remote’s motion sensing abilities. You have to hold the remote a very specific way (straight up and down, with the buttons facing you) and if you hold it wrong GGGG screeches at you to do it better. You also have to flick the remote sharply every time you move it, or you run the risk of the game not registering your movement, which can tank your performance.

The music doesn’t impress, either. This is a game about marching bands, so marching tunes are to be expected, but the soundtrack has too many obscure classical pieces that’ll leave everyone but classical music aficionados cold. Where are all the modern marching band standbys, like “Land of a Thousand Dances”? The lone modern song in the game (the admittedly-great “Rockit” by Herbie Hancock) is wasted – your band, robbed of their magical instruments, is forced to play on trash Fat Albert-style, and the result is so noisy that it’s hard to tell what song you’re even playing. Add to this the fact that, despite boasting over 20 songs on the back of the box, the game consists of just seven levels, and as such it can easily be beaten in under an hour. Sure, beating it unlocks more difficulty settings, but even considering those you could see all the game has to offer in an afternoon.

Major Minor’s Majestic March isn’t a total failure. It’s a cute, whimsical romp with the signature Greenblat surreal art style, and for those reasons alone it might be worth a rental. On the flip side, though, it’s incredibly simplistic, and there’s barely enough game here to keep even die-hard fans busy for an entire day. In a lot of ways it feels like it was designed with very young children in mind, and if you have little ones around the house this wouldn’t be a bad way to ease them in to the rhythm genre. But for more serious genre fans and anyone expecting the game to live up to the legendary Parappa legacy, MMMM is a severe disappointment.

Gameplay: 5.8
You’ll keep the band’s pace with rhythmic up-and-down motions, with occasional flicks left and right to collect new band members and items. That’s the entire game. You never get the feeling that you’re creating the music, the way you do in something like Parappa or Guitar Hero.

Graphics: 7.3
Rodney Greenblat’s distinctive art style is instantly recognizable, so your appreciation of the game’s visuals will rely on how much you enjoy seeing quirky animals and inanimate objects performing in a marching band. That said, there is a lot going on in each stage, and looking carefully for hidden jokes and visual gags in each stage can be fun.

Sound: 6.5
The songs in this game are a hodgepodge of mostly classical tunes, some recognizable ones mixed in with more obscure fare. The audio quality is reasonably good, but the tracks are nowhere near as memorable or as charmingly bizarre as the songs from Parappa and UmJammer. The narrator’s voice isn’t too terrible or grating, but the same can’t be said for GGGG.

Difficulty: Easy
The gameplay is simplistic enough, and when you add power-up items (which do everything from improve your band’s mood to self-regulate the tempo) it’s a breeze. Beating the game once unlocks a harder difficulty, but even this shouldn’t pose much of a challenge.

Concept: 7.4
It’s clear that the designers wanted to use the Wii remote’s motion capabilities in a fundamental way, and having it serve as a conductor’s baton is a natural. As for the game’s story, it’s not bad for younger players, but it lacks that insane charm that made Parappa so memorable.

Overall: 6.0
Major Minor’s Majestic March is perfect for families, especially those with very young children, trying to get into the rhythm genre – it’s short, easy, cute, and inoffensive. For the twelve-and-up crowd, though, the simplistic gameplay, dull song selections, and incredibly short length are bound to disappoint.