Neopets was developed by Infinite Interactive, the Australian studio responsible for the outstanding Puzzle Quest series. Neopets takes Puzzle Quest’s puzzler-meets-RPG structure, similarly borrows an existing concept and applies Neopets paint.

Both have “puzzle” in their titles, too. That’s where the similarities end.

Ambition obviously wasn’t a priority for Puzzle Adventure. It simply adds Neopets to the classic board game Othello, allowing you to create Neopets for use as in-game avatars -- that’s it. That’s also the extent of their synergy, a combination every bit as pointless and arbitrary as it seems.

If you’ve played Othello, you know the rules. You and an opponent take turns placing pieces on the game board, trying to sandwich the other player’s pieces between two of your own. By doing so, you earn the pieces between. The player with the most pieces once the board is full wins.

To avoid being a complete and unmitigated Othello clone, however, Puzzle Adventure includes RPG-like elements and power-ups. Certain board tiles offer extra experience points and power-ups for your Neopet if placed a piece upon, supposedly making you more effective during matches.

But these potentially beneficial additions are poorly implemented. The experience points you earn are virtually invisible, having no major effect on gameplay. Earning them is pointless if there’s nothing to use them for, and increasing attributes like strength doesn’t do much either.

Surprisingly, the game is also more difficult than I expected, particularly for a children's game. I was often frustrated by unforgiving AI, a brand of which might be a little too much for its intended audience.

Perhaps worse than the gameplay, though, is the presentation.

Puzzle Adventure presents itself as a quest, but it’s actually just a linear stretch of Othello matches against other equally uncharming Neopets, an experience most people will probably find has little appeal.

The quest is facilitated by a colorful map, creating the illusion of freedom and non-linear progression. Fat chance -- you go where you’re told and when you’re told. These are the rules, and they are unflinchingly rigid.

The map not only restricts the quest, but it also contributes to Puzzle Adventure’s recumbent and overwhelming sense of bland flatness.

Alongside a flat map and game board, the characters are generic two-dimensional cut-outs and their voiceless dialogue is presented in text bubbles. This Nintendo DS-like presentation isn’t engrossing, and it actually shows very little that couldn’t be pulled off just as well on the handheld.

The game is also inexplicably riddled with technical problems. With shockingly frequent chugging despite how little is happening on-screen and how modestly the Wii hardware is being taxed, Puzzle Adventure has one of the most horrendous frame rates I’ve encountered on the platform.

It’s like watching a last-place runner trying to finish the race. A week later.

Puzzle Adventure is also marred by frequent loading times. Aside from self-pity, I can’t imagine what it could possibly be taking so long to load.

I derive no joy from disparaging games like this, but I’ll be honest - if I were a Neopets fan, I’d be insulted by the seemingly lackluster effort that spawned Puzzle Adventure. Through a thick fog of technical issues and joylessness, it’s difficult to see any reason to recommend this game.

Gameplay: 4.5
It’s simply Othello with gratuitous gimmicks.

Graphics: 3.0
Is this a Nintendo DS game? It looks like one -- characters are flat 2D cut-outs, there’s little animation and the frame rate is abominable.

Sound: 6.0
Mellow flavors of oriental music play in the background. It becomes very repetitive, but you probably won’t notice amidst your boredom.

Difficulty: Medium/Hard
For a game clearly aimed at young children, Neopets Puzzle Adventure is needlessly difficult. The AI is unforgiving and often ruthless.

Concept: 1.0
Some concepts coalesce perfectly and create a mutually beneficial synergy. Othello and Neopets are more like oil and water.

Multiplayer: 6.5
This is the game’s only redeeming quality, but when you can buy the original Othello for less than half the price, it doesn’t really matter.

Overall: 4.5
I don’t know anyone to whom I’d recommend this overpriced detritus.